Settlers of Catan: Wil Wheaton, Jane Espenson, James Kyson, Neil Grayston. TableTop Episode 2

Settlers of Catan: Wil Wheaton, Jane Espenson, James Kyson, Neil Grayston. TableTop Episode 2


WIL WHEATON: We all have a few
go-to games that we use as infection vectors to introduce
gaming to our non-gamer friends and family. Well, today on Table Top, Neil
Grayston, Jane Espenson, and James Kyson are joining me to
play the game that I used to introduce my wife and our two
children to the joys of trading wood for sheep. It’s a lot more fun
than it sounds. You also get to build roads. And I’m not doing a good
job of selling it. Listen, just sit back and watch
us play a modern-day classic, The Settlers
of Catan. [MUSIC PLAYING] WIL WHEATON: This game is
a global phenomenon. Since it was released in 1995,
it has sold hundreds of millions of copies. That means that right now, at
this instant, there are thousands of people playing this
game all over the world, including us. We are settlers on the legendary
island of Catan. The first person to reach 10
victory points wins the game. You get victory points
by collecting and managing resources. You get resources when one of
the settlements you have built is adjacent to a tile that
has spawned a resource. We find out which tiles spawn
resources every turn by rolling dice. No one will have enough
resources on their own to build the roads, settlements,
and cities they need to win the game, so we will all
have to barter and trade with each other. Just like in real life,
there are nasty surprises waiting for you. Whenever we roll a seven, the
robber gets activated, and he steals from you. We hate the robber. The robber is a dick. But if you got robbed, it’s
not the end of the world. There are other ways to
get victory points. Having the longest road, having
the largest army, or you can also trade in resources
to buy these development cards. You are about to see all of this
in action, because it is time to play The Settlers
of Catan. NEIL GRAYSTON: Well, my
name’s Neil Grayston. And I guess most people know
me as Fargo on Eureka. JAMES KYSON: I’m James Kyson. I’m an actor. I guess most people know me from
Heroes, a TV show on NBC. I played Ando. JANE ESPENSON: I’m
Jane Espenson. I am a TV writer/producer. I’m best known for sci-fi and
fantasy shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Game of
Thrones, and Once Upon a Time. WIL WHEATON: All right, Jane,
so you get to place a settlement and a road. JANE ESPENSON: I’m going
to put one right here. I’m going to send
a road that way. WIL WHEATON: All right. OK, James? A settlement and a road. JAMES KYSON: All right, I’m
going to start on this site. NEIL GRAYSTON: Right, I am
going to go right here. WIL WHEATON: That’s where I was
going to play, Grayston. I will begin here. No. Yes, I will begin here. I have not played this
game in five years. No, here. I will begin here. NEIL GRAYSTON: I mean, it seems
like Wil, he’s sort of the master of the game as it
relates to the rest of us. WIL WHEATON: Seven! Anyone can win at any time. It really depends on the dice. The only way that you can eke
out an edge at all is if you get real good board placement,
and if you can kind of work the other players to trade
to your advantage. Now we go back the other way. The second settlement you place
gives you the resources where that settlement lands. So I will put a settlement
here. And now I will get lumber,
clay, and ore. NEIL GRAYSTON: Well,
I do believe then that will go here. So I get clay/brick,
wood/lumber, and wheat/grain. WIL WHEATON: Wheat/grain. NEIL GRAYSTON: All right. WIL WHEATON: That was actually–
wheat/grain was my family’s name when we emigrated
from Scotland. And they changed it at Ellis
Island, because they had a very hard time pronouncing it. All right, James, you’re up. JAMES KYSON: Wow. Let’s see. I’m going to go this way. WIL WHEATON: Very bold. Very interesting move. So you will get an ore, and
you will get a brick. JANE ESPENSON: James might have
screwed up early on when he placed his development
along the seashore. JAMES KYSON: I started
by trying to utilize the three for ones. [MUSIC PLAYING] WIL WHEATON: And Jane? JANE ESPENSON: Showing up here
today, this is the first time I’ve played this game. I’m going to go right there. WIL WHEATON: You actually can’t
build there, because you are adjacent to Neil. JANE ESPENSON: All
right, I meant– WIL WHEATON: That’s all right. JANE ESPENSON: –I’m
going to go there. WIL WHEATON: Listen, you could
become lousy with sheep. JANE ESPENSON: I could be. Exactly. WIL WHEATON: Which is my
Proclaimers cover band. JANE ESPENSON: So I
get two sheep– WIL WHEATON: You
get two sheep– JANE ESPENSON:–and a wheat? WIL WHEATON: –and a wheat. JANE ESPENSON: Oh my
god, I can make my lamb and wheat stew. WIL WHEATON: Oh, jeez. I read about it on
the internet. OK, so go ahead and roll the
dice to find out which tile produces resources. 11. So orange gets wheat. Red gets wheat. And blue gets wood. JANE ESPENSON: So is anyone
willing to trade a sheep, and give me a– WIL WHEATON: Yeah, I’ll trade
you wood for sheep. JANE ESPENSON: Fantastic. I will do that. And is anyone willing to give me
some bricks for some wheat? NEIL GRAYSTON: I am going
to hold on to my bricks. JANE ESPENSON: What if I sweeten
the deal and give you two wheats for one bricks? JAMES KYSON: She’s dealing
and wheeling already. NEIL GRAYSTON: Yeah, yeah. JAMES KYSON: Uh-oh. NEIL GRAYSTON: I’m
good for wheat. JANE ESPENSON: All right. WIL WHEATON: James, you’re up. JAMES KYSON: OK, here we go. And it’s a five. WIL WHEATON: James rolls
a five, which means white gets ore. And the other five is here,
so orange gets clay. NEIL GRAYSTON: All right. WIL WHEATON: There you go. JAMES KYSON: Would anyone
like a ore for a wood? WIL WHEATON: I’m good. NEIL GRAYSTON: I’ll give
you an ore for a clay. JAMES KYSON: OK, I will give
you an ore for a clay. NEIL GRAYSTON: All
right, I’m done. JAMES KYSON: All right. NEIL GRAYSTON: I’ve been playing
Settlers probably about once a year for the
past decade, I’d say. So every time a refresher
is kind of needed. 11. I think that’s me again. I will trade a wheat
for a sheep. JANE ESPENSON: I have so much
wheat, I don’t even know. NEIL GRAYSTON: OK, then. WIL WHEATON: Would you say
you have a ton of wheat? [LAUGHTER] WIL WHEATON: That’s my name. I know. NEIL GRAYSTON: This guy. JAMES KYSON: Yeah,
I don’t get it. NEIL GRAYSTON: All right, I’m
going to build a road. WIL WHEATON: Build that road. Build that road. NEIL GRAYSTON: Hmm, where
do I build the road? [WHISPERS] I build the road to there. WIL WHEATON: All right. My turn. Seven. JAMES KYSON: Oh, yes. WIL WHEATON: Seven. So that means the robber is
going to come in and rob us and be a dick. JAMES KYSON: Right now? WIL WHEATON: Yeah, which
sucks for everybody. It sucks a little bit less for
me, because it means that I’m going to get to steal
a card from someone. JANE ESPENSON: Doesn’t seem like
it sucks at all for you. [LAUGHTER] [MUSIC PLAYING] WIL WHEATON: Now, I know that
Jane is lousy with wheat. JANE ESPENSON: Mm-hmm. WIL WHEATON: So I am going
to do my very best to steal wheat from you. Yes Now you don’t know
what I have. JAMES KYSON: Oh, a seven. WIL WHEATON: It’s a seven. Doh! All right, so the robber’s
going to move again. JAMES KYSON: You could
get it right back. WIL WHEATON: Yep, the robber’s
going to move again. And if you want to steal the
wheat back from me– oh no, you’re stealing
from me. JANE ESPENSON: I’m going
to steal this one. WIL WHEATON: Damn it. JANE ESPENSON: I am going to
buy a development card. WIL WHEATON: Curses. [MUSIC PLAYING] JANE ESPENSON: It’s
still my turn? WIL WHEATON: It is. JANE ESPENSON: I’m going to buy
another development card. WIL WHEATON: Holy crap. JANE ESPENSON: Empty my hand. JAMES KYSON: All right. Come on, six. Seven. WIL WHEATON: Oh, man. JANE ESPENSON: I did a trade
that allowed me to buy two development cards in a single
turn and empty my hand out, which turned out to be
fantastic, because then the robber came along, and I
had nothing to steal. I figured out how to
be robber proof. JAMES KYSON: Just to be fair,
I’ll put it here. And I’ll take a card
from Neil. JANE ESPENSON: Does Neil
feel that’s fair? JAMES KYSON: Well, I’m sure
it’ll come around to me. The next one will be me. NEIL GRAYSTON: And it’s a six. JAMES KYSON: Oh, finally. WIL WHEATON: Six. NEIL GRAYSTON: Oh. WIL WHEATON: I get paid
with ore, and you get paid with lumber. JAMES KYSON: Yes. WIL WHEATON: All right. Seven. JAMES KYSON: Oh, wow. WIL WHEATON: I know that
James has wheat. So let’s shut that down, and
let’s hope that I can steal wheat from you. JAMES KYSON: I will just
give it to you. Here. WIL WHEATON: Really? NEIL GRAYSTON: James is just
giving his cards away. And it’s like, at least make
him work for it, man. JAMES KYSON: No,
wait a minute. NEIL GRAYSTON: He’s
stealing from you. WIL WHEATON: Don’t worry, I’m
not going to watch your cards and figure out exactly
where the wheat goes. Is it– argh! JAMES KYSON: This one, I really
found out like how aggressive people are playing. WIL WHEATON: Would you
be interested in trading wheat for brick? JAMES KYSON: So the brick that
you just stole from me? WIL WHEATON: Yes. Yes. JAMES KYSON: I will give you my
wheat if you will give me brick and another card. WIL WHEATON: I had almost
convinced James to trade me wheat so that I could
build a city. And James then realized– JAMES KYSON: Oh, wait. What am I doing? No, I need this wheat. WIL WHEATON: I was so close. JAMES KYSON: I got seduced
by you, Wil, for like– oh my god. NEIL GRAYSTON: It
was right there. WIL WHEATON: It was happening. We were in the bedroom
and everything. JAMES KYSON: I was like,
what am I doing? I need to– I need to win. JANE ESPENSON: Don’t give
up your wheat ’til you first get wood. JAMES KYSON: You
almost had me. You Jedi-minded me, Wil. Oh! WIL WHEATON: You cannot blame
a sexy, sexy man like myself for trying to get
his wheat on. I am going to buy a
development card. JANE ESPENSON: All right,
it’s my turn. But before I do that, I’m
going to play a knight. [MUSIC PLAYING] JANE ESPENSON: So I’m going
to go over to there. Then I’m going to
take something from you, Mr. Orange. OK. I want that one. NEIL GRAYSTON: Now,
what did you take? Ah. JANE ESPENSON: Now
I roll my dice. NEIL GRAYSTON: Four. WIL WHEATON: Four. JAMES KYSON: Four. WIL WHEATON: That’s going to
give lumber to red and orange. And where’s the other four? It’s going to give clay to me. JANE ESPENSON: After all that
maneuvering, I have enough cards to do nothing. So my turn is done. WIL WHEATON: James, you’re up. JAMES KYSON: All right. I roll a seven. I think we rolled like five
or six sevens in a row. JANE ESPENSON: Who do
you think has the resources you need? WIL WHEATON: This is less
Settlers of Catan and more the Robber of Catan. NEIL GRAYSTON: Yeah. Yeah, this is. JAMES KYSON: I know. Robber after robber, back
to back to back. NEIL GRAYSTON: Seven. JAMES KYSON: Oh my god. Are you kidding me? NEIL GRAYSTON: All right. JAMES KYSON: It’s
unbelievable. NEIL GRAYSTON: I will also– WIL WHEATON: The
year of plenty. NEIL GRAYSTON: –play
a year of plenties. [MUSIC PLAYING] NEIL GRAYSTON: Well, I
would like a wheat. WIL WHEATON: All right. NEIL GRAYSTON: And because– hmm, yeah. Hmm. I guess I’ll get a lumber. WIL WHEATON: You never
have wood or clay. NEIL GRAYSTON: Yes. Yeah. WIL WHEATON: Those are those
things that are necessary in the beginning of the game. NEIL GRAYSTON: And I will
purchase a settlement. WIL WHEATON: The one that’s
in front of you. NEIL GRAYSTON: It’s right
in front of me. Yeah, pass me my thing
that’s right here. OK. I’ll put it there. WIL WHEATON: There you go. Let’s see if I can
not roll a seven. How about that? JAMES KYSON: Let’s get
some eights, Wil. WIL WHEATON: That would
be kind of cool. JAMES KYSON: Let’s get
some eights or sixes. WIL WHEATON: And– JAMES KYSON: Eight. WIL WHEATON: There’s an eight. JAMES KYSON: Thank you. WIL WHEATON: Which I rolled
because you asked for it. JAMES KYSON: Yes, thank you. WIL WHEATON: All right. So let’s see. That means clay for orange,
clay for white. And where’s the other eight? JANE ESPENSON: Here. WIL WHEATON: And the eight
means wheat for red. And I can do nothing, and
I have nothing to trade. So that will be the
end of my turn. NEIL GRAYSTON: Seven, please. WIL WHEATON: 10. NEIL GRAYSTON: Double sheep. JANE ESPENSON: Double sheep. JAMES KYSON: Oh, boy. WIL WHEATON: Look at that. This place is lousy
with sheep. And a sheep for you, and then
the other 10 does nothing. JANE ESPENSON: All right. Now I’m going to do something
tricky, if it’s still my turn. WIL WHEATON: Yes. JANE ESPENSON: It’s that
I have a monopoly card. [MUSIC PLAYING] JANE ESPENSON: Oh, but crap. What if I name a thing that
none of you have any of? Oh, no. I may not have thought
this through. I’m going to say lumber, and
see if anyone has any. NEIL GRAYSTON: No
lumber from me. JANE ESPENSON: I have a strategy
for winning the game today, which is, I want to win
it on the bonusy things, the longest road, the
biggest army. JAMES KYSON: Jane totally got
me by surprise, because I thought it was her first
time playing. She must have been coached
really well, because she turned into this killer. JANE ESPENSON: Now I would
like to build a road. WIL WHEATON: No! [MUSIC PLAYING] JAMES KYSON: Oh my god. WIL WHEATON: 10. NEIL GRAYSTON: Give
me more sheep. I’m the sheep king. WIL WHEATON: God, you guys
are like– what is up with your sheep? JAMES KYSON: Can I offer
something to anyone to remove that robber? I can’t– WIL WHEATON: I’ll do my best to
roll a seven for you again. JAMES KYSON: Like, can I
contribute to the bank? WIL WHEATON: I don’t
think you can. No, I don’t think
you’re allowed. I don’t think you can do that. JAMES KYSON: Argh, I
wanted to kill him. When Wil put his robber on it, I
was just like, unbelievable. That was the one thing that
I had going for me. Can I give you an
ore for a wood? NEIL GRAYSTON: I do
not have wood. JAMES KYSON: Because
ores are handy. JANE ESPENSON: Wood is
tough to come by. I got the only wood on the
table and turned it in. JAMES KYSON: OK. WIL WHEATON: Which is weird,
since you’re at a table full of dudes. Thank you. Thank you, everyone. JAMES KYSON: It’s the one
wood she took from me. WIL WHEATON: Thank you. Thank you. 12-year-olds everywhere
are– seven. NEIL GRAYSTON: Here we go. Murmur, murmur, murmur,
murmur, murmur. I’m just making sounds now. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. They’re good sounds. NEIL GRAYSTON: I am going to
steal from you again, Jane, because I think you have
slightly better than– aw, of course. WIL WHEATON: Did you
steal a sheep? NEIL GRAYSTON: I did. I’m like the sheep
kidnapper now. I’m going to buy a
development card. JANE ESPENSON: Nice. WIL WHEATON: All right,
here we go. JAMES KYSON: Some sixes, Wil. Again, please. WIL WHEATON: I’d kind
of like an 11. JAMES KYSON: Four. WIL WHEATON: A four? Wait. Wait, before I’m angry about
it, does a four help me? Oh, it does. It gives me clay. OK. JANE ESPENSON: It
gives me lumber. WIL WHEATON: And it
gives you lumber– JANE ESPENSON: Thank god! WIL WHEATON: –and it
gives you lumber. This is the worst thing
in the world for me. How you doing? NEIL GRAYSTON: Oh, are
you going to– do you want to steal
one of my sheep? WIL WHEATON: Nope. Nope, I want to trade
you for lumber. My strategy right now is to get
the longest road and keep the longest road. I’m building a road. NEIL GRAYSTON: Oh,
snap-a-diddly. JANE ESPENSON: You’re putting
that out of reach. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. JANE ESPENSON: I’m trying really
hard to extend my road in both directions. But in the small chance that
I don’t win, I think Wil is going to take it. WIL WHEATON: Seven. JANE ESPENSON: Seven. Where shall I put it? It was so exciting when it was
sitting over here, when it was still on that. JAMES KYSON: Please,
please don’t. I’m hurt. JANE ESPENSON: No, I think
Wil is the threat. So I’m going to put
it back over here. WIL WHEATON: No. But– argh. JANE ESPENSON: Thank you. WIL WHEATON: Fine. There, have another
one of those. JANE ESPENSON: Yes, I know. It’s not really what I need. But I would like to trade to
get either wheat or bricks. And I’m willing to
offer sheep. Does anyone have wheat
or bricks? You can have two sheep for
either a wheat or a brick. Then my turn is over. WIL WHEATON: Jane’s sort of the
sheep herder in this game. And that’s great in the later
stages of the game. But in the early stages of the
game, when you’re trying to build roads and settlements, you
don’t really need sheep. JAMES KYSON: Five. WIL WHEATON: So that’s going
to be ore for white and ore for orange. NEIL GRAYSTON: And clay. WIL WHEATON: Clay for orange. NEIL GRAYSTON: Five. JAMES KYSON: OK. NEIL GRAYSTON: OK, that
gives me an ore. JAMES KYSON: And it
gives me an ore. NEIL GRAYSTON: Yeah. JANE ESPENSON: So someone has
to give you those things. NEIL GRAYSTON: Banker. WIL WHEATON: I know. I’m just thinking that if I
don’t have any cards, I don’t see why you guys should
get any cards either. All right, ore, ore, and clay. NEIL GRAYSTON: OK. And I will trade in four
sheep for a wheat. [MUSIC PLAYING] NEIL GRAYSTON: And with that
wheat, I will buy a– WIL WHEATON: OK, good. NEIL GRAYSTON: –card. WIL WHEATON: Because I was
ready for you there. NEIL GRAYSTON: All right. Meh, I’m done. I will pass this to– WIL WHEATON: I would trade
you nothing for a thing. NEIL GRAYSTON: Really? WIL WHEATON: Yeah. NEIL GRAYSTON: Would you
like an orange road? WIL WHEATON: I would love
an orange road. NEIL GRAYSTON: Yeah, good. WIL WHEATON: Wow, thank you. NEIL GRAYSTON: You can place
it wherever you like it. WIL WHEATON: No, that’s great. I’m going to put it right here
on top of my houses. Look at that, so they’re
all tied together now. That was a great trade for me. NEIL GRAYSTON: It
was fantastic. Ooh. WIL WHEATON: Seven. JAMES KYSON: Wow. WIL WHEATON: OK, so I get
him off of there. And so let’s block that so
you can’t draw lumber. And let’s hope that
I get it from– OK, good. JANE ESPENSON: That
was terrible. WIL WHEATON: All right,
your turn. JANE ESPENSON: Oh,
I had such plans. Ah. JAMES KYSON: How is
this possible? WIL WHEATON: Oh, crap. The most commonly rolled numbers
statistically are six, seven, and eight. Well, we’ve rolled
a lot of sevens. We’ve rolled hardly any
sixes and eights. JANE ESPENSON: So I’m going
to move it here. And I’m going to take
one of his clays. NEIL GRAYSTON: Is it a
clay that you got? JANE ESPENSON: No. NEIL GRAYSTON: Ha, ha. JANE ESPENSON: I can’t do
anything, so I am done. JAMES KYSON: Boy. This is tough. Nine. WIL WHEATON: Nine. JAMES KYSON: Which did– oh,
OK, it helped me one. NEIL GRAYSTON: There’s
nothing there. And does– JAMES KYSON: I get a sheep. JANE ESPENSON: Give
me more sheep. NEIL GRAYSTON: Sheep. JANE ESPENSON: Sheep, sir. NEIL GRAYSTON: I think I’m
doing all right so far. I don’t know what everybody has,
and there’s still a lot of little victory cards
to be played. And I’ve got some stuff
in my pocket that I’m really excited to play. Five. WIL WHEATON: Five. So that’s going to be ore for
white and ore for orange. JAMES KYSON: Unbelievable. NEIL GRAYSTON: I am going
to move my knight. WIL WHEATON: Ooh, all right. I was going to put it on that,
because I want to steal your one card that you have. WIL WHEATON: You are
a terrible person. NEIL GRAYSTON: I am the
most awful person. WIL WHEATON: You
are a horrible, horrible, horrible person. NEIL GRAYSTON: I’m a horrible
person who builds a road and then builds another road. Well, actually two more roads. JANE ESPENSON: Two more roads? WIL WHEATON: Plays two
new roads as if you had just built them. Oh, you filthy, filthy
swine head. NEIL GRAYSTON: Did you
see what I did? WIL WHEATON: Oh my god. I helped you get that. NEIL GRAYSTON: Ha ha, thanks. [MUSIC PLAYING] NEIL GRAYSTON: Four. WIL WHEATON: Four. That’s going to give lumber
to the two people I don’t want to have it. And it’s going to
give me clay. Go ahead. NEIL GRAYSTON: Eight. WIL WHEATON: Eight. We finally rolled an eight. JANE ESPENSON: So I
get some wheat. WIL WHEATON: So you
get some wheat. And let’s see, you
both get clay. JAMES KYSON: All right. A seven. JANE ESPENSON: Ooh. JAMES KYSON: Well, Neil, you
are in the lead, so I think that has to be accounted for. So all right, here we go. NEIL GRAYSTON: All right. Seven. WIL WHEATON: Really? JAMES KYSON: Unbelievable. NEIL GRAYSTON: OK. [MUSIC PLAYING] WIL WHEATON: I’d like to say
goodnight to everyone who decided to play the drinking
game at home where a seven is rolled, and they take a drink. I hope that you drank a lot of
water earlier in the day, and that you have a miserable
morning. NEIL GRAYSTON: Hey,
would anyone like a clay for a wheat? JANE ESPENSON: Yes, I will
give you a wheat if you give me a clay. NEIL GRAYSTON: Here you go. All right. I will build a road. WIL WHEATON: You
son of a bitch. Hello, longest road
to Grayston. NEIL GRAYSTON: Bajong. I will also buy me a
development card. WIL WHEATON: So Neil is like
Captain Development, which is really smart, because he’s not
getting cards that he can use to build more roads,
and upgrade his settlements into cities. But he’s getting cards that
he can use to turn into development cards. We know that he’s 2/3 of the way
to largest army, and that is a lot of points. NEIL GRAYSTON: Yeah, OK. I’m going to do this. WIL WHEATON: You are upgrading
to a city, it looks like? NEIL GRAYSTON: Yes, I am. WIL WHEATON: What’s the
name of your city? NEIL GRAYSTON: Graystonville. WIL WHEATON: Graystonville. I forgot to ask you, Jane,
what’s the name of your city? JANE ESPENSON: Espensonitis. No, wait. No, that’s a disease. WIL WHEATON: It’s inflammation
of the Espenson. JANE ESPENSON: Yes. WIL WHEATON: Largest army. [MUSIC PLAYING] JAMES KYSON: Wait, so are
you moving the robber? NEIL GRAYSTON: Oh yeah, I am. JAMES KYSON: Oh my god. Please don’t put it there. WIL WHEATON: Oh, no. JAMES KYSON: If you’re
going to put it, just put it over here. NEIL GRAYSTON: Well, then
I’m blocking myself. JAMES KYSON: How about this? If you don’t put it on me, I’ll
just give you an ore. NEIL GRAYSTON: Oh, that’s
an interesting tactic. WIL WHEATON: That is
an excellent– look at the James gambit. JAMES KYSON: That’s beneficial
for both people. NEIL GRAYSTON: Yeah,
I’ll do that. I’ll put it in the desert. JAMES KYSON: Wow. WIL WHEATON: Nice. JANE ESPENSON: Outside
the box. Outside the hexagon. WIL WHEATON: Look at that. JAMES KYSON: Doesn’t
slow the game down. WIL WHEATON: You’re a
good person, James. JAMES KYSON: I’m trying
to be, man. Just roll some sixes, bro. All right? WIL WHEATON: What have I
in my hand, you say? JAMES KYSON: Thank you, Wil. WIL WHEATON: There’s your six. Here’s double wood for you,
double ore for me. I sure would like wheat. Can anybody help
me with wheat? Is there wheat happening
in this game right now? JAMES KYSON: I think everyone’s
looking for wheat. NEIL GRAYSTON: Still
gluten free. WIL WHEATON: Yeah, all right. So Jane, you’re up. Eight. JAMES KYSON: Eight. JANE ESPENSON: I get a whole
bunch of wheats. WIL WHEATON: Eight. NEIL GRAYSTON: Clay. WIL WHEATON: Wow, there’s double
wheat and single wheat. NEIL GRAYSTON: And
I get a clay. WIL WHEATON: You each
get a clay. Clay and clay. There you go. JANE ESPENSON: Is anyone
going to give me a sheep for a wheat? I give you a wheat, you
give me a sheep? WIL WHEATON: Wheat is useless
to me without sheep. Wait, is it? Not necessarily. OK. JANE ESPENSON: Thank you. Then I will buy a development
card. And that completes my turn. WIL WHEATON: Eight. So that’s clay. JANE ESPENSON: I’ll take
some more wheat. NEIL GRAYSTON: Clay. WIL WHEATON: And clay. JANE ESPENSON: Three
more wheat. WIL WHEATON: Jeez. JAMES KYSON: Actually, you have
a lot of wheat, right? Would you like another clay? JANE ESPENSON: I’d like
a brick– or I’d like a log for a wheat. WIL WHEATON: Not my turn. I can’t trade. JAMES KYSON: Ah, boy. All right, I will give you
a log for a wheat. WIL WHEATON: Oh, that
son of a– crap. NEIL GRAYSTON: The robber. There is nothing there,
because whatever. JAMES KYSON: Oh,
wait a minute. Did you win? WIL WHEATON: I think
he just won. I think Grayston won the game. NEIL GRAYSTON: I’m
going to build another road, just because. And oh my god, watching all
that was making me so frustrated, because
there we go. There’s a palace. There’s my extra
victory point. WIL WHEATON: Oh! JAMES KYSON: Neil was kind
of like this low-key, smiling nice guy. But just kind of started
collecting assets turn after turn. And the next thing you know,
he had eight points, nine points, and then he won. Totally did not see it coming. WIL WHEATON: Congratulations,
Neil Grayston. You are the official
settler of Catan. JANE ESPENSON: Very nice. WIL WHEATON: So Jane and James,
we’re going to go over to the very comfortable
couch of defeat. We’re going to have a seat
there, and we’re going to nurse our wounds. And Neil, I’ll see you
downstairs in front of the wall of victory. NEIL GRAYSTON: Yes. JAMES KYSON: Wil. WIL WHEATON: Well guys,
we did our best. But Neil’s best was better
than our best. However, I don’t think we lost
this game on our own. We had help from someone who
belongs in this lounge of defeat with us. That guy. JAMES KYSON: Yes. JANE ESPENSON: There it is. WIL WHEATON: You’re a dick. JAMES KYSON: There should
be a fire where we go and see him in flames. WIL WHEATON: Yeah, good idea. Post, give us a fire. Nice, good work. I’m going to go downstairs and
pretend to be happy for Neil. JAMES KYSON: All right. I’m just going to hang out here
on the consolation couch. JANE ESPENSON: We’re going to
hang out here with the dick. WIL WHEATON: So life
imitates art. Just as Fargo beat Parrish to go
to Titan, so does Neil beat me to win the official Table
Top Trophy of Awesome for being the winner of
Settlers of Catan. NEIL GRAYSTON: The
coveted trophy. WIL WHEATON: Yes. Now I’m just going to write
your name on it. NEIL GRAYSTON: OK. WIL WHEATON: So that everyone
knows it’s yours. NEIL GRAYSTON: All right. WIL WHEATON: So there you go. Please feel free to
make a speech. NEIL GRAYSTON: Well, I got to
say, it was a hard run, but I really hunkered down. I think I got the right cards,
and I played my cards right. And we got through the barren
wheatless little bit of it. WIL WHEATON: Those were awful
days, the wheatless days. NEIL GRAYSTON: Yeah. And then the surfeit– is that
the right word– of sheep. We just had too many sheep. WIL WHEATON: Yeah. NEIL GRAYSTON: I guess the point
is, I always get the– buy the cards. WIL WHEATON: Congratulations. NEIL GRAYSTON: Thank you, Wil. WIL WHEATON: Now, I actually
have to take the trophy back now, because we can’t afford
more than one. NEIL GRAYSTON: Oh. WIL WHEATON: But here. Guess what? You get to keep the tape
with your name on it. NEIL GRAYSTON: The tape? Oh, awesome. WIL WHEATON: So that all day
long, everyone knows that you are Neil, and you are a star. NEIL GRAYSTON: I am the
true Settler of Catan. WIL WHEATON: We will see
you next time, right here on Table Top. [MUSIC PLAYING]